Tonight I am writing because I am blessed.
I told you the horror story of my MRI. The good news is that I don't have a tumor. I knew I didn't. It was still nice to hear that from a doctor.
But this isn't why I am blessed.
I am blessed because the medication they told me only had a 10% chance of working is doing exactly what they thought it wouldn't do. It is working.
And for that I am grateful!
For that I am blessed.
You see, I have a God that is bigger than a doctor. He can heal things that doctors can't heal. He can do things that doctors don't think are possible. Or that they think are only 10% possible.
My God pretty much rocks!
You know what else rocks?
My friends and family.
My family loves me dearly. Of course they will pray when I call on them.
What has really amazed me is the dedication of my amazing friends.
Those who have called me to say, "How are you today?" The ones that have said, "OMG! It is a brain tumor!" because they knew it would make me laugh. The ones that I have prayed for me right there on the phone. The ones that told my story to KLove when they called randomly about their prayer drive and had them praying for me on air. The ones who have said, "I just know the medicine will work!" even when the doctors said it probably wouldn't. The ones who have let me cry without judgement. The ones who have listened to my rants over and over again. The ones who haven't made fun of me when I call a blubbering mess because it is working and I'm so full of joy that I can't hold back the tears. The ones who know how much I love them even though I don't tell them enough.
I am blessed.
I hope that the whole 5 people who read my blog know how amazing God is. If you don't know, ask me! I have a lot of amazing stories to share.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
Story Time
Those of you that know me know a few things about me...
First, I hate injections of any kind. Shots are bad enough, but when you start inserting IV's and injecting things that I can feel creeping through my whole body really just send me over the edge. On many occasions injections and giving blood have caused mass panic to form. This always leads to a near death experience called passing out. I can't help it. I know it's silly. It annoys me to my core. None of that matters though! It is who I am! I can think about needles and start feeling all icky all over. In fact, I'm feeling it right now!
Second, and almost as horrible are dark closed in spaces. I hate to feel trapped. I especially hate to feel trapped in a dark space. I hate knowing that I can't control how and when I will get out. It makes me a nervous and sick mess.
When you thrown all this together you get a disaster when your doctor orders an MRI of your head!
They put me in the tube. But before they did that they laid me on this little hard bed, put ear plugs in my ears, and put a cage on my head. Yep, a cage. Then, they push you back into a cave. A cave where the walls are inches from your face. To make it worse, the cave is North Carolina blue! PUKE!
I literally thought I would die!
I'm embarrassed to say that I had to have them pull me out, undo the cage and let me sit up for a minute. I think I apologized a hundred times for how stupid I felt and for wasting 5 minutes of her time! Then she gave me an awesome gift. A mirror! It allowed me to see the outside world!
There were still moments when I thought I couldn't make it! But! I willed myself to get it done!
But this isn't the end! Remember that injection I told you about? Yes, they pulled me out of the tube after 25 minutes and say, your doctor ordered a contrast to be injected. HUH?
I asked if she could sit me up. Nope. You have to stay in the exact position in order to get accurate results. Of course you do! So, I went to my happy place. I was literally saying, "palm trees, palm tress, palm trees" out loud as the poor nurse shot what felt like ice water through my veins!
You should be proud! I didn't get pale. I didn't throw up. I didn't cry. I didn't pass out!!!!
She pushed me back in the tueb and I finished the last 10 minutes of my MRI like a champ!
I feel like I conquered something today! I feel a bit empowered that I made it to the other side alive!
All prayers appreciated! I have my results back Tuesday. All this is over an ear by the way! The same ear that I posted about earlier this summer. The ear I was scared a bug had crawled in! Maybe the MRI will show that I have spiders living in my ears and I'll have to wear panty hose on my head when I sleep. (NAME THAT SHOW!)
Now, it's time to rest!!!
First, I hate injections of any kind. Shots are bad enough, but when you start inserting IV's and injecting things that I can feel creeping through my whole body really just send me over the edge. On many occasions injections and giving blood have caused mass panic to form. This always leads to a near death experience called passing out. I can't help it. I know it's silly. It annoys me to my core. None of that matters though! It is who I am! I can think about needles and start feeling all icky all over. In fact, I'm feeling it right now!
Second, and almost as horrible are dark closed in spaces. I hate to feel trapped. I especially hate to feel trapped in a dark space. I hate knowing that I can't control how and when I will get out. It makes me a nervous and sick mess.
When you thrown all this together you get a disaster when your doctor orders an MRI of your head!
They put me in the tube. But before they did that they laid me on this little hard bed, put ear plugs in my ears, and put a cage on my head. Yep, a cage. Then, they push you back into a cave. A cave where the walls are inches from your face. To make it worse, the cave is North Carolina blue! PUKE!
I literally thought I would die!
I'm embarrassed to say that I had to have them pull me out, undo the cage and let me sit up for a minute. I think I apologized a hundred times for how stupid I felt and for wasting 5 minutes of her time! Then she gave me an awesome gift. A mirror! It allowed me to see the outside world!
There were still moments when I thought I couldn't make it! But! I willed myself to get it done!
But this isn't the end! Remember that injection I told you about? Yes, they pulled me out of the tube after 25 minutes and say, your doctor ordered a contrast to be injected. HUH?
I asked if she could sit me up. Nope. You have to stay in the exact position in order to get accurate results. Of course you do! So, I went to my happy place. I was literally saying, "palm trees, palm tress, palm trees" out loud as the poor nurse shot what felt like ice water through my veins!
You should be proud! I didn't get pale. I didn't throw up. I didn't cry. I didn't pass out!!!!
She pushed me back in the tueb and I finished the last 10 minutes of my MRI like a champ!
I feel like I conquered something today! I feel a bit empowered that I made it to the other side alive!
All prayers appreciated! I have my results back Tuesday. All this is over an ear by the way! The same ear that I posted about earlier this summer. The ear I was scared a bug had crawled in! Maybe the MRI will show that I have spiders living in my ears and I'll have to wear panty hose on my head when I sleep. (NAME THAT SHOW!)
Now, it's time to rest!!!
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